i should start this again

it seems like too long since i last wrote creatively, and not mainly for the purpose of preserving memories and logging important occurrences in my life. i find it important to remember everything. i want to look back and see my past in beautifully vivid color, to dwell on the life of before, reminisce, as well as take pride in how far i have come. when i write by hand in my journal for the aforementioned reasons, i do not attend to the words as i do when i type them out. the pen moves with my thoughts, but in a way it is a thoughtless account of the day’s events.

i know i find these accounts important, but in reality they do not help me grow in the way i long for them to. i want to write beautifully and willingly, not just laboriously. i want to flesh out my thoughts and explore my own mind and become more in tune with myself. i want to know more about the world through my eyes and share my pursuits with those who will listen. i want to grow as a writer, as a student, as a daughter, as a friend, as a sister, and as a person in general.

please, whoever may read these remarks of mine, hold me accountable for what i have said. do not allow me to drift off and feign busyness as i spend valuable free time doing invaluable tasks. i understand the importance of this, but i have known myself to prioritize comfortability for hard work and growth.

from now on, i plan to write and publish something - once a week at the least, possibly every tuesday. i hope this will push me into a mindset which is focused on my creative improvement and my overall mental wellbeing, as well as pull me away from the fear of sharing what i write.

xoxo mo