If we were to find a time machine and backtrack to last August, we would be able to see a version of me that was completely (and foolishly) convinced of my inability to survive independently. I thought such a change in scenery - being separated from my family and other familiar surroundings - would be something I’d not be able to handle. I’m not sure what sparked this thought or why it stuck with me, but ever since I realized, “Wow, I’m going to have to live alone and remember to do basic self-care tasks for myself, daily, without any assistance,” I was kind of living in a state of fear for that day when I would take the trek to Austin and move in to my new, significantly more independent life. That day inevitably came, and my brain raced with every single possible mistake I could make. My family left and it was real, and I was scared.

This fear was not backed up by anything except...

Each day I realize I am not quite who I thought myself to be yesterday. There is no shortage of new knowledge when it comes to understanding who I am, especially considering the fact that I am ever-changing, capricious in mind and matter, never even wholly the same as I was yesterday. Years ago, I discovered the vital importance of spending time alone with myself, looking in the mirror and acknowledging, accepting, and affirming who I am. I don’t think I knew true beauty until I saw myself truly for the first time, sitting criss-cross applesauce before the mirror in my bedroom closet. It’s quite a feeling to come to terms with the fact that you are you, and that you will never be anyone other than that. This fact accompanies a newfound love and a newfound curiosity for who you are. So naturally, I became more inquisitive about every aspect of myself, longing to pinpoint each fact and...

Boston from above, on the day I fell in love. November 14, 2013.

I first experienced the transcendental qualities of cities on my trip to Boston, at the beginning of my sophomore year in high school. Walking through the brick city and taking in the vastness of its existence and the comparative littleness of mine. Upon seeing the way fall existed in Massachusetts, the fallen leaves and their yellows and deep reds and oranges, upon seeing the people upon people upon people going every direction, passing me indifferently while I unconsciously marveled at them and wondered who they were and where they were headed, upon seeing these things I saw the whole world in front of me, vividly, for the first time truly. I could see diversity, obscurity, clarity, creativity, history, community, humanity, immensity. I could see it all. And upon seeing it all I saw my smallness. I saw how small I was...

Practicality is so praised in our world. In a real way, society discourages dreaming after a certain age, arguably when we approach the end of our public school days. When a young child voices their hopes of being an astronaut, a writer, or an actress, they are praised for ambitiousness, deemed wide-eyed and endearing. They are never told to think smaller or pushed to choose a simpler and more practical future for themselves. Somewhere along the line a person becomes naïve for having “unrealistic” aspirations and for clinging to their childhood dreams.

We lose sight of the things our hearts really desire by forfeiting them to society’s script for a successful life.

Of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best idea to drop everything and move to Iceland to become a freelance photographer with no real funds or experience. What this means is that you should not stop working...

My mind wanders off often, exploring potential scenes of my future life, speculating upon what I will be doing, why I will be doing these things, who will be alongside me, and, predominantly, who I will be. Thinking about such giant things is captivatingly alluring as well as awfully and totally overwhelming. In reality, the possibilities for me are never ever ending, as they are so with you too.

This concept is one which is hard for me to comprehend, as a result of the sheer vastness of its scale. So many people exist in this world, and with each person comes their own set of infinite possibilities, yet we couldn’t have enough time or resources to see each one of these possibilities unfold; even if we wanted to take the time to sit back and review each prospect, we would have no way of doing so because of the fact that it is quite significantly infinite. If we did, somehow, have a...

I generally hope for others to encourage my endeavors, support my skills, affirm my abilities and acknowledge my ambitions on a daily basis. Anytime I share a part of myself I long for it to be approved by someone else, accepted, and ultimately welcomed with warm arms, for that someone else to want more of what I have to offer them. If this successfully happens, I feel validated - I consider whatever I did to have been worth my while and impactful, because others thought so as well. Contrarily, when people don’t adamantly advocate me through words of applause or some other form of appreciation, my heart shrivels up and makes me feel as though I should be disappointed with my work - a massively foolish fib I let myself believe much too frequently.

Validation feels warm and right and inviting, like what you are doing, where you are going, who you are being, etcetera, is exactly the way...

I fear that I might one day forget the feelings I felt today. Whether it be through videos, pictures, or words like these, I am quite constantly documenting my life in some shape or fashion for this reason. I am blessed beyond belief by simply existing each day, because without fail, something beautiful happens in my life - big, small, seemingly mundane maybe, but nevertheless incredible when I ponder on it for a moment or a few, and I don’t ever want to skip over these revelations. I want to have them permanently stored somewhere forever and always, never to disappear within the vast space that is my ever-altering brain.

a section of the berlin wall @ the newseum in dc (to which i wish to return in the future)

It’s not an unknown fact that everyone is growing, not only physically, but mentally as well, each day. That our brains are flooded with outrageous amounts of information and...

I don’t remember a time when I was one hundred percent secure in my abilities, in my beauty, in my self in general. I remember times when I was less insecure than usual - times when I could talk to people without forgetting to speak - but I also remember times when my insecurities took over my thoughts and made it nearly impossible for me to take the risk of letting myself be vulnerable to the world’s innumerable opinions, not welcome to the resulting jeopardy it would place my comfortability in.

On too many occasions I have allowed the latter to occur, allowed my irrational worries to pile up onto one another and form a great barrier between myself and real opportunities (friendships, leadership positions, paying jobs, choir solos, etcetera and so on). I have always loathed this aspect of myself, how my overwhelming nerves prevent me from taking part in something bigger than myself...

Ella Fitzgerald - Let's Do It (Let's Fall In Love) from Zoonzin on Vimeo.

One of my major character flaws lies in the fact that I inevitably romanticize most situations, so much so that I consequentially expect these impossibly-perfect, dreamt-up scenes to play out in real life, exactly as I prepared them in my head - sickly sweet poetic remarks and all. Of course, seeing as they are impossibly perfect, I set myself up for disappointment with such a heart as mine which swells at the thought of a small taste of what I’ve witnessed in novels and the cheesy romantic comedies of my choice. Maybe this is the problem - that I have overdosed on too many love stories, rich with beautiful people who know how to show love in extravagantly charming fashions which I have never witnessed firsthand and exude confidence in unreal ways which I have yet to be capable of myself.

Do these stories give...