validation
I generally hope for others to encourage my endeavors, support my skills, affirm my abilities and acknowledge my ambitions on a daily basis. Anytime I share a part of myself I long for it to be approved by someone else, accepted, and ultimately welcomed with warm arms, for that someone else to want more of what I have to offer them. If this successfully happens, I feel validated - I consider whatever I did to have been worth my while and impactful, because others thought so as well. Contrarily, when people don’t adamantly advocate me through words of applause or some other form of appreciation, my heart shrivels up and makes me feel as though I should be disappointed with my work - a massively foolish fib I let myself believe much too frequently.
Validation feels warm and right and inviting, like what you are doing, where you are going, who you are being, etcetera, is exactly the way it is meant to be. The choice to place the basis of such a vital feeling upon anyone other than yourself is thoroughly unhealthy and ultimately unnatural. Your desire is not to please those around you, rather, you require your own approval to be truly and totally joyful.
Sometimes, it’s simply simpler to attempt pleasing others trivially in order to avoid the rocky road to authentic self-acceptance, and social media makes us believe that the attention and approval of others ensures a healthy self image, another silly story we allow ourselves to take as truth.
If you find yourself unhappy because others don’t praise you, consider it an indication to focus on finding joy within yourself, to walk away from waiting for others to hand it to you in a wonderfully-wrapped gift, to remember the essence of your soul and the truths of your spirit. Dwell on what honestly elevates your wellbeing, rediscover what uncovers your full-teethed smile in all of its unashamed wonder and the things about your heart you find unaltering satisfaction in. Grasp the gravity of pinpointing the parts of yourself you find precious and expanding upon that self-love daily. If you see spots within your heart which you find unbecoming, remember your authority over your own soul and the malleableness of it. Remember that you can change the way you do things by a simple resolution to do so.
By placing your worth within yourself in lieu of what others perceive of you, smiles become sincere, light exudes from living, love knows new purity.
In every case, I am writing to myself first and foremost. I am still learning with each tap of the keyboard who I am and how to love that person properly. When life goes swell, I write about it. When life goes poorly, I write about it. In each instance I find new truths which allow me to grow and live and love without foreseeable end. To get through this struggle, I have reminded myself that I am not on this earth to be praised, but rather to be humbled in order to praise the one who fearfully and wonderfully made me (Psalm 139:14). I remember that I was not created to please others, but rather I should have a desire to please God. My self-love journey began many years ago with remembering the fact that I was made perfectly by Him, and that really was the turning point in my perception of myself.
If anyone happened to stumble upon my words and somehow arrived at this point, I challenge you to find some outlet which allows you to reflect upon the depths of yourself and subsequently leaves you lighthearted and lively, content with the contents of your mind without the need of anyone else’s validation but your own.